I have a hankering for something tasty
What should I do to fill the void within me?
What is there to do when your stomach’s empty
But to feast, and feast, on meat?
I go to the butcher and buy me some steaks
When I go home I put them into my face
Yet soon I kneel over the toilet in utter disgrace
It’s not the right type of meat
I go to the grocer and purchase some chicken
I cut it and cook it when I’m in the kitchen
Then I kick it ‘cross the room so it’s at a distance
It’s not the right type of meat
I go to the fishman and order some salmon
When they cut it and bag it my stomach is hammering
He looks at me and then he starts yapping
About an alternate type of meat
But I have no ears for metaphorical suggestions
My brain isn’t right for philosophical questions
My mind is occupied; upon my attention
Is only the thought of meat
The salmon is burned; smoke fills the air
I scream a curse and get the Hell out of there
I get in my car and I drive anywhere
But I can only think of meat
Fuming and fretting, growls unrelenting
Begin to moan and seep from my gut
I am so hungry–so very very hungry!
But I can only think about meat
But life must go on, and so I go on
I travel and travel in utter despair
I soon shield my face, in utter disgrace
I pull and pull and pull at my hair
But I am a child, just only a child
I remember this fact on a dark Sunday evening
I prepare for Monday, (Yippee ki yay)
Even though with hunger I am now heaving
A dark gloomy cloud soon encompasses me
As I make my way within the building
Soon I’ll be learning, (Yip yip hooray)
Yet I feel that I’ve long ago reached the ceiling
Soon I’ll pass out, of this I’ve no doubt
I’ve eaten nothing since Friday evening
They’ll have to cart me out, when I am knocked out
These are the facts that I am now believing
It’s time for first period, although I’m delerious
Thoughts strange and random float through my mind
I stumble upstairs, straightening my hair
And then I come upon a smell so sublime…
I’ve not a hall pass, yet I must relapse
Down and down and down the stairs
The class bell then rings, but I’m hungry as anything
I must find out–that smell comes from where?
I see a calc teacher, standing like a preacher
Talking about x, y, and z to the class
I take a trembling step forward, push the door forward
I take in a deep breath!… And step into class…
I look across the classroom and what do I see?
A whole lot of meat-people! staring at me
My eyes soon widen, my heart starts to beat
As I think and think and think about meat
They’re talking to me, they’re laughing at me
But meat, meat, meat!
I’ll make me a stew–no, a steak–no, a roast!
I have plenty of meat now for several of those
That little one up front will make a nice appetizer
But the big one in the back will need some tenderizer
Cannibalism’s wrong–no, who am I fooling?
Excuse me, just a moment–I fear I’ve been drooling
For the soon-coming feasts I start to plan my tooling
As I sit down in a class comprised of meat
Teach on, meat-teacher–go on, be a meat-preacher
As I sit with my class-meats with a grin on my face
I write out my plans and with glee I clap my hands
I’ve got meat, and meat, and meat, and meat!
In the days soon to come, the class will go down one by one
As I start to hunt and butcher my meat
I may be caught, I may be shot
But meat, meat, meat, meat!
So what do you do when you’re stomach’s empty?
What do you do when hunger conquers thee?
Just listen and follow closely to me
And we’ll have meat, and meat, and meat, and meat, and glorious, glorious meat!
The Voyage for Fresh Meat by Jay R. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.